Seinfeld Election Has Miracle Economy on Hold: Commentary by William Pesek

William Pesek

Here’s the plot: an unmarried,foreign-born, atheist woman whose partner is a male hairdresserwants to lead a major nation famous for manly men. Her opponentis the “Mad Monk” -- a Speedo-loving amateur boxer who oncestudied to be a priest.

The latest Fox sitcom? Nope, it’s the script for nextmonth’s Australian election. It really would be hard to makethis stuff up. And yet there is a farcical angle worth notinghere. The Aug. 21 contest has been dubbed the “SeinfeldElection,” meaning that it’s about nothing.

No bold plans about Australia’s future from Labor PrimeMinister Julia Gillard or Liberal opposition leader Tony Abbott,no grand designs to improve competitiveness, no fresh thinkingabout the risks of becoming China’s fuel station. Plenty ofchatter about emotionally charged issues such as asylum seekersarriving by boat. Little about what role the nation of 21million wants to play in a fast-changing global economy.

This idea-starved election should concern all of us whohave grown accustomed to Australia beating the odds. Nineteenconsecutive years without recession is bound to breedcomplacency on the part of officials in Canberra. That also goesfor investors who see Australia as a risk-free part of theirinternational strategy.

‘Yadda, Yadda, Yadda’

“Yadda, yadda, yadda,” to borrow an oft-heard phrase onJerry Seinfeld’s 1989 to 1998 television show, won’t do forAustralia. Autopilot has been the setting for this $1 trillion“miracle” economy for a decade now. It’s time for officials tograb the controls once again.

The nation’s failing infrastructure, overstretchededucation system and increasingly polarized economy needaddressing, and now. Instead, the election campaign is beingdriven by focus-group research and populism. So lackluster isthe discourse that politicians are competing with“MasterChef.”

Last night’s Gillard-Abbott debate was actually rescheduledto avoid clashing with the popular cooking show’s finale. Votersbeing more interested in who churns out the tastiest tuna tatakior best masala potatoes than who runs their nation is a sadcommentary on the caliber of Australia’s choices. If Welsh-bornGillard and her opponent, Abbott, are wondering about themissing ingredient, it’s inspiration.

Gillard and Abbott both are untested entities devoid ofvision. Rarely has the need for it been so great.

Brawling Leaders

Australians clamoring for visionary leadership faced a bittoo much nostalgia recently as former Prime Ministers Bob Hawkeand Paul Keating brawled in the media over their respectivelegacies. It was a bizarre and ugly exchange prompted by a book,published by Hawke’s mistress-turned-wife, that Keating saysairbrushed over his achievements. Keating defended himself in aletter to Hawke published in the Australian newspaper.

While the spat won’t sway the election, it raised twoquestions about Gillard’s Labor Party. First, are divisivepolitics distracting Labor from addressing Australia’s bigchallenges? Second, and more importantly, where have the reallybig thinkers gone?

The combined tenures of Hawke (1983 to 1991) and Keating(1991 to 1996) were a watershed for the 14th-biggest economy.Import tariffs were removed, the dollar was allowed to float,the financial industry was opened and a national, compulsorypension program was introduced.

Coasting Nation

It has been coasting ever since, sometimes in the wrongdirection. John Howard (1996 to 2007) seemed to forget Australiawas near Asia, preferring to cozy up to former U.S. PresidentGeorge W. Bush and his foreign-policy disasters. Howard’ssuccessor, Kevin Rudd (2007 to 2010), was far more focused onthe fast-growing region in which Australians live.

Dismal approval ratings and few solid achievements did inRudd last month. His planned tax on mining profits enraged thebusiness world and backfired. After deposing Rudd, Gillard willhave the challenge to set out a clear roadmap for the future.All she is offering is vague platitudes.

Take environmental policy. Gillard’s government unveiledplans for a citizens’ assembly to build consensus on putting aprice on carbon. Presumably, she has forgotten that Australiaalready has a 150-person-strong group that voters select and payfor that job. It’s called parliament.

Two-Speed Economy

Chinese demand for resources is another challenge. Thismining boom is creating a “two-speed economy,” pitting WesternAustralia against the rest of a nation facing tepid wage growthand the threat of higher interest rates. Other than kowtowing tobillionaire miners, neither Gillard nor Abbott has presented aplan to rebalance the economy.

Immigration also looms large. Gillard has already put thekibosh on Rudd’s “big Australia” policy. She’s couching herstance on population control in environmental terms. The factshe hasn’t defined sustainable population growth has criticsarguing she is pandering to voters aggrieved by what they see aslax immigration enforcement.

Talk about weak-kneed approaches to the biggest challengesof our time. Since this is an election about nothing, lots offocus is on Gillard’s lifestyle. Is a woman perceived to putcareer before family a good role model, journalists ask. It’sirrelevant to her leadership skills -- not to mention unfair.

The question that matters is how Gillard or Abbott plan tolead Australia. No one really knows, and, unlike Seinfeld, thisis no laughing matter.

(William Pesek is a Bloomberg News columnist. The opinionsexpressed are his own.)